What I Have Learned......

When Scott & I announced our joyful plans to adopt a second child, reactions were overwhelmingly positive and joyous. One of the more curious questions we have been asked since that time has been which of the two processes to date have been more challenging. It is a question that I have given considerable thought to and find myself simply unable to really answer. There are several explanations for why I am unable to do so, not the least of which is that our processes will have taken place 5 to 6 years apart and involved two very separate and distinct foreign countries & journeys. (We also have not yet completed our 2nd adoption, making hindsight impossible just yet...lol...) And as I thought about it even more, I realized that while each program & adventure has been unique, there are many more things about both adoptions that are similar.......with that in mind I thought I might share, What I Have Learned About Adoption:

** I have learned to embrace every family's adoption story as unique, beautiful and invaluable to better understanding the overall adoptive process, while also recognizing that no two experiences or timelines will be exactly the same.

** I have learned that tenacity, faith and even sometimes luck are required to see this process through from beginning to end. And that sometimes even that is not enough..... actually I would quantify this statement with LOTS OF LUCK needed :) .....

** I have learned that support is invaluable. Support from family members, friends, adoptive groups, your agency....all are necessary and instrumental.

** I have also learned that said support can come in many forms: from the friend who calls unexpectedly to ask how your adoption is progressing, to the family member who listens patiently & with compassion while you tearfully share your fears & anxieties along the way; to the surprise gift that arrives for your baby, or to the kind email or blog comment sent by someone across the country who has walked in your footsteps ( or is currently sharing the path ) and simply understands.......incredible!

** I have learned there is no shame in accepting help( that can be hard for me) and admitting that the process can sometimes be bigger than we are capable of managing alone. Similarly I understand that reaching out the hand of support on our good days to someone who may be struggling brings unexpected blessings and strength.

** I have learned that the devil is in the details. Check, double check & recheck all the facts at every step along the road!

** I have learned that like all major life events, perseverance is critical and adoption(or parenting for that matter!) is not for the faint of heart.

** I now understand better the legacy each of these miracle children bring to our families. With them comes the echo of a rich, beautiful and vibrant culture.....the imprint of a distant land....the hopes, dreams, wishes and sacrifices of a birth family. International adoption at its best bridges the gap between cultures and creates families with an inherent understanding and appreciation of world cultures. I have learned newfound respect for so much.

** I have learned that friendships can be forged unexpectedly and in the most unexpected of places throughout this journey. ( You all know who I'm talking about!) Priceless & thank you everyone!!

** I have learned that when I thought I couldn't tolerate another day of the agonizing wait, I somehow was able to....& that often others have waited even longer.

** I have learned that God rarely gives us more than we are capable of handling.

** I have been honored to accept & understand that sometimes its God's unanswered prayers that shine the brightest and give us our best gifts. Often when we least expect it too!

** I have learned to never take a day for granted with our precious daughter( and the cherished son we are awaiting)....I know something bigger than our love & plans brought us & keeps us together. I am humbled by that thought.

**** AND I have learned that I won't number the above reflections or use the words "finally"....for I know well that about the time I think I've seen or experienced it all, a new twist or wrinkle will take us soaring around an unexpected turn or loop. And I know for certain, that I am a better person for the ride! I have also learned to hold on with both hands! ;)

May this coming week find you all happy & well and bring good news to all waiting families!