Thursday's Thoughts

Truly this is one of my favorite seasons, not simply because of the vivid colors, joyful trips to pumpkin farms and orchards.....not only because its been unseasonably warm each day, with only our evenings and early mornings hinting of the chill yet to come.......but because it heralds in a time of tremendous change. Much as the trees begin to change their colored cloaks and leaves begin to drop, so too has this time always marked a period of changes in our children. Children reach out to grasp those last moments of light and sunshine, sensing the days are shortening, race with abandon, delighting in their neighborhood friends. Pumpkins are purchased with the promise of the wicked (or grinning!) Jack O' Lanterns they may become, costume choices are debated, selected, changed on a whim, then back again. Accessories bought or created by hand, to make a child's vision come true. Candy is bought for delightful Trick 'Or Treaters.....but not bought too early (ummm...my willpower can only take so much abuse ya know!!)..... hey, I'm just sayin'. ;)

School is well underway and new skills, words, accomplishments and yes, even struggles find their way into the every day. One little one heads off for a first overnight with a friend (leaving one anxious Mama to hover by the phone at bedtime, wondering if "the call" would come.....it didn't and she had a blast!!), while another Little seemingly expands his vocabulary in volumes daily. One child sets her sights on scoring TWO goals in a soccer game ( and does!!) and another suddenly can charge up the stairs, one foot after another, with no need of a railing or a Mama's supportive hand. :( One comes home from a birthday party wearing *gasp* eye shadow (and looks way to grown up and pretty to suit me, thank you very much) and another only wants to drink from "big boy" cups now. BOTH expand their social circles and BOTH test boundaries a wee bit (and creatively) and BOTH learn about time outs. ( well one already knew.....and one, is quickly learning!) LOL

But I can smile and bear witness, knowing both still adore cuddles and hugs, trips for ice cream and innocent moments of play and lightness.

***And need I mention the candy corn?? Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh.....sweet corn candy goodness. As if Autumn wasn't grand enough! :) (P.S. Plus, has anyone else already started their Christmas shopping???? *ahem*)

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

So many thoughts of late have been swirling, so many photos and topics I have been hoping to share on this blog ~ yet I find myself eschewing my blog duties ( honestly I love it, but you know what I mean!) for no other reason than my own desire to grab those last fleeting evening walks after dinner as a family.......trips to the park or for plans made with a friend. I've been in the moment and ever aware of my 2 children as siblings...........

Siblings not by chance. I don't believe that. Siblings instead by design, by good fortune and luck ( for us ), through initial loss (for each of them), siblings born of faith and of road blocks (that eventually crumbled aside) and finally, siblings through purposeful intention.

But that's just not the whole story. Siblings yes, in all the important and wonderful ways ~ in all the ways that count and matter. It never escapes my notice that while some would classify us as adoptive parents ( and we are!) or seek to label our relationships semantically or even sequentially , very few folks assign such distinctions to Lauren and Tyler. Very simply they are and forever will be: sister and brother. Big and Little. Miss (*Sassy*) Pants and the Taiwan Tornado. My Best Girl and Little Man. For always.........

I write of this today, knowing that the same program that graced and enriched us(beyond measure) with our darling baby boy is facing an uphill battle. Only time will tell how the ending is written, but my heart aches for the families caught in the melee of this......mess. How easily that could have been us and not just once but twice. Kazakhstan too is currently closed, not accepting or facilitating adoptions, aside from those families already in process, while they implement the Hague.

How easily we could have missed the incredible blessings and gifts of these 2 children. And while I'm not going to debate the merits of adoptions, the pitfalls, the hard truths and the often times only hinted at realities at this time, I am mindful of the miracle (and the steps along the way) that brought our family together: that allowed us to adopt twice and bring home each time, a child that completes us in a way that no other could have.

These two, that will share so much, even beyond a similar upbringing and a collection of childhood memories. These two that will always have (god willing)one another, throughout it all........

And I will continue to say a silent thank you for the joy, challenges, triumphs and missteps.....for the laughter and the tears......for the moments and milestones that I didn't miss & even for those that I did.........gosh, a fervent thank you, for just getting to be "Mama" to these TWO......

XOXO

Just sign me, humbly:

Lauren and Tyler's Mama,

cuz right now I can't think of a better or more cherished name.