Monday, March 7, 2011

It's Never Easy.......

saying goodbye. :)

But that's just what I'm going to do, at least with regards to my blog. This is something I have been considering for quite a few months now; months spent vacillating between feeling its the right time and then again maybe not.

I think part of my indecision has been due to how much I have loved and enjoyed this blog. Never would I have guessed, over 2 and half years ago, when I stumbled through my first tentative post, the joys, challenges, friendships, stories and memories created with each tap of a keystroke and each decision ( sometimes followed by a deep breath) to Publish Post.

More than once I sat down to ruminate over something tugging at my thoughts or wished only to share a bit of happenstance here and ended up with something completely different by post's end. Those were probably my most challenging ones as I always wondered if it was meant to be shared; with only one exception, I always went forward, trusting that if it was important enough to nudge something else from the forefront, then it needed to said. Each time it was received with grace and understanding by so many of you!

Initially my intentions were to use this blog as a forum to share our news and updates (with family and friends ) about our Baby Boy and snippets of the journey along the way. I'm so thankful that it became so much more than that ~ at least for me.

I peek back at photos of my precious kiddos and am surprised anew at the swift passage of time. While I have not always been faithful to keeping scrapbooks updated this time around, this blog has stood in, capturing moments, moods, toothless grins, chubby cheeks, babes in the bath, sibling moments, memories, milestones and lots more.

On occasion it allowed me to advocate for causes I treasure and explore adoption as it relates to our family.

And something else brought me friendships and unique connections. As I look back at some of the first comments (received) I am so humbled to still have so many of those folks in my life; many of whom I have met and some I still have yet to! These were the Mamas who celebrated each little step along the way to Tyler; who collectively helped to hold me together when the path got bumpy and later reached out with patience and compassion during those jet lagged nights in Taiwan when I missed one child dearly, while still getting to know another. These were the Mamas who always remembered to "make" over Lauren too, knowing that , blog title aside, our destination has always been family first.

And I'm equally grateful for the friends who joined us later and laughed along with the toddler chapters and grade school escapades ~ they opened their hearts to our family while letting me get to know and love their own. What a tremendous gift it has been for me!

Some friends preferred to read along silently or send personal emails. I have treasured you all and feel blessed to count each of you among my friends. I have rejoiced in your good news, as so many miracle babies and children found their way home. Blog or no blog, I take those friendships with me and absolutely will be checking in on all of you who continue to share your joys and moments by blog! How could I do otherwise?!?

But for me? It's just time. My sweet & insightful bloggy friend Rachel asked if Face Book was one reason for stopping. In truth it is a factor but this is something I considered long before joining FB. What FB does allow however, is for the connection to remain to so many of you who have come along this journey with me. AND that? ......does make it all the easier to step away from this.

And I know with absolute clarity that I'm going to miss it. Already there are things we have planned or are anticipating this Spring that will be tempting to document through this blog. But I always said that if I couldn't do it justice, or the boundaries got blurred or if I couldn't be assured of relative safety for my family in blogging, then I would step away. Its meant too much to me to only visit monthly or let it languish. I do intend to keep it open for the the time being as I so loved and appreciated exploring blogs of the BTDT before me.

What I have shared is pretty An optimistic realist ( a twice blessed Mama ) who tried always to keep it pretty real, while not always sharing the minutia of every squabble, pet peeve or bad mood. I always kind of figured we all had enough of that stuff in our daily lives that no one needed or wanted to read about it here! LOL

I could say that I did it all for the kids and while I do hope and pray that someday this is a form of keepsake for them both, honestly I think I ultimately wrote for me. Cuz I knew how fast it could go and I wanted to capture small moments of it, forever. All of you were part of that and I'm so lucky and happy that you were! Thank you!

Someday I may decide to blog again but I don't expect to do so on this site again. Two years home now with our Taiwan Treasure and this April we celebrate eight years home with our beautiful Kazakhstan Princess (eight years!!!) ; the time feels right to close this chapter......knowing the journey still continues. Thanks so much friends!!!