Decades

In my early 20's I graduated from college. I became a young adult, a bride and a wife. I witnessed with a certain sadness the ending of a few childhood friendships & whims while at the same time celebrated new relationships, passions, hobbies, ideals & goals. I became friends ( real friends) with my Sister and along the way I discovered the incredible gift of being an Aunt.

In my 20's I discovered politics, corporate America & built a first home. I began one career and then through a twist of fate found another. I returned to school for a Masters' Degree and upon graduation found a calling ~ teaching.

In my mid to late 20's, my Mama's heart began beating louder and my (our) attentions turned to children. What a journey it was to be!

In my 20's I began to truly understand unconditional love and humility. In my 20's I discovered that yes, "Mom does know best". Or at least my Mom does. :)

And later...........

In my 30's I settled into a routine, only to watch it shaken and stirred time & again.

In my early 30's I finally became a Mama. Oh, glory be ~ a baby girl waited us in Kazakhstan! I cast down everything I knew and together with Scott embarked on a 3 week sojourn around the world to find our daughter ~ our beautiful Lauren. In my 30's I discovered that true love can be found in one tiny perfect being & that surrendering to that love is the most empowering emotion in the world. The most basic of instincts........

In my 30's I left a profession that I cherished, knowing well the greater reward that awaited ~ knowing the privilege I was given with that choice. I became a stay at home Mama with all of its challenges and joys!

In my 30's I found my Mama's voice but also learned to listen....... to really listen to a child's' sweet laughter & whispers ~ to their fears and their dreams. I found I could discern a frustrated cry from a true hurt and could identify which coughs would lead to a restless night or fade away in a day. I found my joys in the small moments.........in the little details that make up a day.

In my mid 30's I could no longer deny the stirrings in my heart for baby #2; for I knew well that a leap of faith was not necessary but a steady hand and heart were indispensable. Of course my heart still shattered with joy, love & vulnerability at the sight of our little man and it was then that I remembered & better understood the lessons of unconditional love & humility inherited from my 20's. A new country, a new program......a family of 3 becoming 4.

In my 30's I learned that indeed you can have more than 1 miracle and that the heart can expand to equally cherish and adore another. That Mama's lap can safely hold 2 babies and that sometimes the laundry just has to wait!

In my 30's I stood on the soil of 2 beautiful foreign lands that are forever etched in my soul, mind & heart. Forever part of me.......forever part of our family.


TODAY is my birthday and I am turning 40. A new decade unfolding............

Yesterday I joked that I would forever more be celebrating my "39th" birthday. But today I feel invigorated. Today I dared to peek in the mirror and the face looking back was actually smiling! Today has been a wonderful day! I even had breakfast in bed compliments of sweet Lauren ~ dry cereal has never tasted so yummy! :)

And I can't help but to wonder about the years to come and anticipate the joys, struggles and adventures ahead.

In my 40's I will awake one morning and find that my best girl has become a tween and later still a teenager! *gasp* She will *gulp* one day drive a car, undoubtedly begin dating ( well maybe in my late late 40's....lol...) attend slumber parties, summer camps & find new boundaries to test( I'm sure). Our precious baby boy will ride a tricycle & then a bike! He will start school, tackle projects, climb trees and join a sports team or 2. He will discover life beyond Mama & home.*sniffle* Both will have new friendships, suffer disappointments & celebrate triumphs. They will grow and change, discovering new things about themselves and the world around them. And in so many ways, I will too!

God willing, both will continue to spread their wings, reach for their dreams, thrive and blossom ~ always knowing how very proud of them I am! How lucky I am to be their Mama!

So..... in my 40's and throughout it all (and as each year passes marked by another birthday) I will continue to peek at that mirror and smile (no matter how many gray hairs I find! Ack!) ~ for I know well that my 2 greatest gifts have already been received and they are magnificant to behold at any time and in any decade. My Lauren & Tyler............my 2 answered prayers.