Let's Face It

I don't often like to include pictures of myself while blogging as I prefer to focus on our kiddos, but this particular pic. is a favorite of mine & Lauren's and the circumstances around it have been tickling my brain of late! This is another pose from the set of 6 year old pictures I previously posted about ( Six Things I Love about Lauren ) and it came about as an accident really. The photographer had asked if I would like to step in and have a few photos taken of us girls together and just as I had nodded, 'no', Lauren gleefully shouted, 'oh yes', grabbed my hand and took me along. I'm so glad she did!

What makes this photo unique is that after snapping it, the photographer mentioned that she could finally see the family resemblance between Lauren and I. With Lauren's blended ancestry ( Ukrainian/Kazakh. ) it is not always obvious that we are an adoptive family, thereby making these types of observations not common but not rare either. Often we have random folks ask questions such as, "where ever did you get those beautiful brown eyes?" or, " she must really favor her Daddy." LOL Years ago Lauren and I developed ways to address these innocent and well intended inquiries and often we will both touch a spot near our hearts, a symbol to us both that we know we are alike in all the really important ways. That day, with the photographer, I looked at my girl to see her smiling big, nodding and touching her heart lightly. I knew that she understood better than most, just how closely our hearts, dreams & souls dance in sync. I also think I know what the photographer saw when she said that.....of all the photos taken that day, Lauren looks the most naturally radiant in this one and its easy to see my joy of being her Mama in my big smile too!

Similarly over the years, both Scott and I have been asked if we missed or mourned not having a child that physically resembles us. Some of you that may be in the earlier or waiting stages of your adoptions may be wondering the same things....or being asked the same questions. Truthfully I can say ( and I know Scott feels the very same way ) that we absolutely believe Lauren ( and our son ) to be more perfect for us and more beautiful than any other child could ever have been. We also have taken great strides to ensure that Lauren always knows she is valued for who and what she is, separate from physical appearances. Adoption books may tell you ( while bonding ) to focus on the things that you do share in common with your child, such as sense of humor, smile or laugh. Those are all fine, but we always wanted ( needed ) Lauren to know how much we cherished ALL the things unique to her........to always understand that we value all of her and celebrate in all the unfolding nuances of who she is and what she will become.

On the other side of this though, I am reminded that another set of eyes....maybe lovely brown or sparkling hazel?..... beheld this child first, months before my own. Someday Lauren may wonder and be openly curious about her Birth Mother's physical appearance and character. We won't have all of those answers, but this is what I do know...........she was very beautiful, strong and courageous. She may have faced circumstances that were beyond her control, but she bravely fought to control the choices that she did have: to keep herself and her baby healthy throughout her pregnancy......to seek medical assistance for a normal delivery........to make a plan for this child to be placed into loving arms, when hers were unable to shelter, guide and care for on a daily basis. I pray to God that as Lauren's questions & insights grow I will always be able to answer her questions, no matter the complexity, in a way that honors both her, her heritage and the incredible woman with the eyes that lovingly held Lauren's eyes first. It is almost unspeakable how very much I do honor Lauren's ( and Pei-En's ) birth mothers.......I do know in a very real sense that they walk beside me every day, supporting me in this glorious journey of Mama-hood. And while I may not ever know details about their physical appearance beyond guesses & speculations, I have seen glimpses into their hearts and souls & that humbles me.

And finally....what do I see when I look at the picture of Lauren and I above? What do I see when my blessed blue eyes turn to look into her beautiful brown eyes?............ I see my legacy......my destiny........ and very simply,.......... I see my child.