The Spirit of Adoption

Assumptions...................

So often assumptions surround us, coloring every aspect of our daily lives. Often times the assumptions we carry with us or are subject to from others are harmless or even accurate on occasion. At other times, the assumptions made by others or even our own are flawed and at best scrape the surface of a real issue or at worse may stifle a voice & perpetuate a stereotype.

In the video, No Orphans of God, a chord is struck and its both a moving and devastating reminder of the crushing need that still exits today to find loving homes for true orphans. I do wish to clarify however that not all orphans are legally available for adoption or are in need of a family placement. Some live with extended family, while still others have not been relinquished (and thereby are not legally available for adoption) by a parent, despite that parent being unable to care for that child or provide a home. Others are placed into public care temporarily and will one day be welcomed back into a family. But for those who truly are in need...............the alternatives of inaction are tragic. And while I fervently believe a wish to "rescue" or "save" a child in need is NEVER a rationale for adoption, I do believe just as passionately that every child deserves a loving home. ...........Perhaps someday just enough voices, resources, support, prayers and understanding will lend themselves to just this cause and Mothers that wish to parent their child will have that chance and the most vulnerable among us, the children in need, will find their place in a loving family. And how lucky those families will be to have them!! ........ That maybe compassion, unity & hope will be the voices heard, not assumptions. For me that is the true Spirit of Adoption.

Assumptions in adoption.......these are just a few that I have encountered over the years and wish to dispel.

Please don't assume.......................

that all birth parents are young, uneducated or unmarried. Or that their child was unwanted.

that all adoptive couples arrive at a wish to adopt based on infertility and only after exhausting all medical alternatives.

that adoption is a second choice or Plan B.

that the love we feel for our children & families is anything less than that of every other family.

that adoptive parents arrive at adoption from a place of desperation. Adoption, like the decision to have a baby, is a carefully thought out, planned for and much anticipated event.

that our children are kept in the dark regarding our status as an adoptive family. For most of us, it is both vital and a privilege to embrace all the aspects of our family's unique journey and we honor and celebrate the blending of heritages and cultural influences. We openly talk with our children about adoption and try to foster strong open communication about that topic and so many others!

BUT please don't assume that we wish to answer any & all questions regarding our children & their adoptive histories simply because someone has the need (or nerve) to ask. Of course we are overjoyed to share news of our miracles & happy to assist families considering adoption ~ but please exercise common sense and value our privacy too.

that all adoptive parents fear that a biological parent may someday seek a reunion or that we would not support our children searching for their biological roots if that is their wish. We love our kids and support their wishes & dreams, wherever that may lead. Period.


Please don't assume that our children have anything less than limitless potential and abilities & that its not despite their beginnings.............

Please understand that adoption is a part of our whole...........but not ALL of it. Our family, like all healthy families, is one defined by dreams, challenges, triumphs, discourse, commitment, faith, missteps, hope, compromise & unconditional love. Not more or less than another family, but simply uniquely ours. Our happily ever after..........